Right, no link there in the last post. Here you go.

http://wanderous.wordpress.com/

Got a new blog these days. Check out wanderous.wordpress.com

tangina naman eh. isang linggo ako gumawa ng splash screen, nag back and forth na kami analyzing the designs. Pumili na sila ng isang design. Ni-refine ko na hanggang sa matuwa na sila. Tapos ngayon "ay, kelangan pala natin ng bagong splash screen". tangina. ANO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

I joined livejournal because I wanted to comment on her blog so she'd notice me, but that was over two years ago.  We're friends now so that's all well and good, but I find that this journal has lost its original purpose, and deserves to die a quiet death.

So, I'm starting a new blog, and that's all there is to it.  Thanks for the ride everyone.

Bye.

In lieu of the more complicated piece that I'm working on right now, I decided to upload this repaint of an earlier artwork.  This represents a radically different approach to painting, that doesn't rely on strong outlines but on color and shading to define borders.  Neither method is better really, but in the world of concept art, "painted" works are more appreciated, so that's the look I'm going for.  In any case I think of this as paying my dues.  I have to learn how to do it this way before "experimenting"

The repaint tries to address some shading and anatomy issues, but in the end the anatomy was too fucked up for me to properly rework, so this will have to do.

It's raining outside, it what may be the biggest storm to hit the metropolis in a while.  The winds are so fast that I thought I would be blown away, and I had to hold on to my umbrella for dear life to keep it from being ripped from my cold, clammy hands.

When I get to my office I look out the window to see both a heartening and heartbreaking sight: Garbage folk are still rummaging through the refuse despite the rain and the wind.  Heartening because I'm reminded how tough and resilient these people are, but also heartbreaking because this scene takes place amongst the skyscrapers of the premiere financial district of the Philippines.  If even a tiny percentage of the wealth that passes through these buildings were to fall into their hands, perhaps they wouldn't have to scrounge amoongst the trash for things they can sell.  Or perhaps they were looking for materials to build a shelter?  A few minutes later I look into them and see the small group huddled underneath the cover of a building, keeping together and rubbing hteir hands for whatever little warmth it would give them.

I should look out the window more often, as there are still plenty of stories to be found.

There was a time I would have marathon sessions playing games, days on end.  At family gatherings, I would hide in my room and play and only come down when my parents were screaming at me to greet my relatives.  Those times are gone, and these days it's rare that I can squeeze more than two hours of non stop gaming in a day.  This article by Clive Thompson on Wired News  inspired me to write about my own experiences and frustrations as an older, employed gamer.

Thompson describes an abyss between today's gamers, those of the "hardcore" bunch who spend hours upon hours gamin  and finding hidden easter eggs along the way, and "softcore old folks like me who have to juggle time between a job, family, friends and loved ones, and other forms of entertainment like sports, cinema, or even reading a good old fashioned book (or even nurturing aspirations of designing indie games).  Hardcore gamers relish epic 100 hour long games that they can brag about when they finish them, and softcore folks just want something they can finish  in the spare time that they have.

I fall into the latter category of course, and I've decided to vent out my frustrations about certain "features" in games that piss me off.  First off, the "grading" system, most commonly found in Hideo Kojima games like "Z.O.E." for the PS2. Finishing a game is an investment of my time, no matter how long or short it is, so I don't want to be rewarded with a grade of "C" on "normal" mode after finishing a game, because I wasn't able to save enough lives, and other transparent metrics that were never announced at the beginning of the game.  If you're going to grade me, then at the very least inform me about what you'll be grading me on.  Is it the time taken to finish the game, the accuracy in killing enemies, or the number of secret areas I found?  Don't fucking reward me with a C after I finish your game, and don't keep the "best" endings for when I finish the game with a grade of "A" because I spent valuable time on this game, and I deserve something in return.

The same goes for games that have "multiple endings" but require you to find character A to unlock side quest B in order to receive item C that unlocks secret treausure D that gives you the ultimate secret ending, because the other endings are all crappy.  Or games like Max Payne 2 that require you to finish the game on super crazy extra hard mode, in order to see the real ending.  What a cop out.  Difficulty settings should just be abolished.  I hate playing a game in normal mode with the thought that I'm not good enough to finish it on "hard" nagging me every now and then.  Just set the difficulty to a certain level.  If I can beat it, I can beat it.  If not, then hey, I'm just not good enough.

Going back to time, I've discovered that I'm loving games with "mission" based gameplay.  IE, finish one mission, then save.  Finish another mission, then save.  This way, I can get bite sized amounts of game time like this morning when I finished a mission in Front Mission 4 before trooping off to work.  It gives me a sense of accomplishment in knowing that I'm one step closer to finishing the game.  This is opposed to games like say, Resident Evil, where you need to spend an extended amount of time before ever actually feeling like you achieved something, enough at least to save your game.

But enough about games, and more on time.  For real this time.  I've discovered that commuting forces me to find ways to keep myself busy and maximize my time.  When I get home there's the allure of the consoles or the PC or TV to keep me sated, but while I'm on the go I get to read again.  Just yesterday and this morning, I was able to devour half of The Economist (I'll give it back joey, I swear) while walking to and from the MRT and LRT stations and am now incredibly up to date with the goings on in Europe and the Middle East.  I still can't discuss it with anyone but hey, at least I'm aware what's going on in the world.  When I have enough money to buy a decent mp3 player or a "Walkman" phone, I'll start listening to podcasts again, which is the lazy way of keeping up to date.

Now it's time to get back to work, since I've slacked off enough already.

I "blogged" about work yesterday, but the full details weren't discussed, and may never be because a) I'm too tired to think about it and b) office people are creeping into the blogosphere and its best to keep one's mouth shut in these cases.  I will instead provide you, ladies and gentlemen, with an analogy.  Going to work this past week reminded me of the time, oh so long ago, when I was learning how to drive.  On my first day, my instructor sat in the passenger seat, waited for me to buckle my seatbelt and said "OK, now drive."  I looked at him like he was insane, because I'd never driven before, and he was telling me to get out on the highway. 

That's how I felt these past few days.  A barrage of neverending work without even any time to actually learn about what it is I was supposed to be doing.  Terminologies are being thrown at me that I have yet to grasp, and the mere fact that I now work in makati instead of qc is starting to take its toll on my health.  Still, I know that this'll pass, and I know that I'll get the hang of this new job eventually.  I mean, I've been driving for what, 7 years now?  Sure I've had a few accidents along the way, but I'm still alive right?

*

I came in to work early yesterday to find elmer submitting his entry to the 2006 IMGAwards.  I felt a little jealous, and since I had a design document laying around from before, I modified it to fit the mobile perspective and as soon as I left the office started working on screenshots as supplementary material.  Thank god we're ahead a few hours from europe, because it bought me enough time to finish by around 11 PM and submit everything.  I'm a little worried now because I haven't recieved a confirmation message from them, but maybe that's because they remember last year when we were finalists for the game "Breakfast Club" but we had to bow out because our companny folded.

I'm tired, I'm cranky, and I feel like maybe I wasted a few hours of my life because I sent my entry to late, so here's the screens for you guys to check out.  Mind you, these were rushed, so don't expect much.

4 days into my new job and all I can say is...OMFG WTF have I gotten myself into?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

*sigh*

At least it pays well.

Tomorrow, I will embark on a career path that takes me away from the career path that I've been on for a little over two years: The business of making mobile phone games.  While I'll still be in the mobile sphere, IM apps are an entirely different sort of software, one that brings with it neither the joy nor the sheer frustration of game development.  Two years is nothing in the PC or console industry, but in mobile, it's enough for me to have gone through 20 or more games and applications.  This makes it possible for me to look back witha bit of wistful recollection at the different companies I've worked with in that period.

With company number 1, I learned the ropes of the mobile game business, I learned to hate cheap ass employers, and I learned the importance of building design documents BEFORE building a game (unfortunately I learned this because our boss liked doing design docs AFTER the game, and thus led to all sorts of confusion in the process).  I also learned how hard it is to maintain a startup, and that you cannot live on mobile games alone, if you only plan on selling locally.

WIth company number 2, I learned how wonderful and useful a good creative environment could be.  I learned that an entire team of people who get along together is a boon that should not be lightly taken, and the ideas that can spring from teams like that can be truly surprising.  Conversely, I learned that a lack of discipline and direction can severely hamper even tha most creative, inspired group of people, and that mismanagement can destroy everyone's best intentions.

With company number 3, I learned dscipline and wrestling with tight deadlines, and that sometimes a lot of work simply does not get done because you refuse to start it and keep whining about it.  Take the first step and keep on going.  You'll be surprised at the end of the day just how much work you've done.  But take breaks to decompress, just like I'm doing now.  This is a break. Really.  But most of all I learned that I really loved making games, even if I was severely underpaid there was still a joy that came fromseeing my animated pixels come to life ona mobile phone screen.  There came a pride in doing my best to try to make these games, however flawed they were, look good.

But that pride and professionalism can only last so long in those conditions, and when a new company offered me a ludicrously high (well for me at least) paying post to work on IM clients for the mobile, I gave in.  I did try to apply at PC and console outsourcing companies here, but the truth is that I lacked the skills necessary skills.  While my art has improved by leaps and bounds lately, it still won't be good enough for quite some time.

It's not like I'm giving up on the idea of working in videgames, but I have to loosen my hold on the dream a bit and maybe get back to it at the right place and time.  I have no regrets about signing on to my new company, and while I work for them I will give them everything that I've learned during the course of my career.   Still, there's a little melancholy in me when I think that the next time someone asks me what I do for a living, I will no longer say that I design mobile games.